This Mother Needs to be Shot.

Elliot and I are about to check out at the grocery store, and are about to head toward the self-scan. This little boy is running around, and I say 'excuse us' so that he knows we are there and I don't hit him. Then he says "Whatchu talkin' about? I ain't even in your way, b****." The mother LAUGHED and CONGRATULATED him. I swear if Elliot EVER spoke like that to ANYONE, let alone in PUBLIC, I would probably beat him. And ground him. FOR LIFE. Am I the only parent that thinks a child swearing and disrespecting people is completely unacceptable? I was going to say what is wrong with kids these days, but I guess the correct statement would be what is wrong with kids and parents? Jeez.

Does Breastfeeding Embarrass You?

This is a question asked by Mizmarr.

Breastfeeding at first was a very embarrassing situation for me. The first time I breastfed in public, I had taken Elliot to my place of employment (McDonald's) to show everyone my handsome boy and grab a quick dinner. I sat all the way in the back, by the restrooms, because I knew he would inevitably get hungry while I was in public. He did. So, I cover myself with my nursing blanket my mother crocheted for me, and nursed him. A man came around the corner, and literally stared at me while feeding Elliot. It made it very awkward, and after that I pumped A LOT, so that in public, I could give it to him in a bottle.

Pumping also became embarrassing. While pumping at work, they allowed me to pump in the office, which has a little window. I had to tape paper over it eventually because, well, you know how teenage guys are. I quit pumping at work, because although Illinois requires your workplace to allow you adequate time to pump, the time has to be unpaid. My son was nearly 11 and a half pounds at birth. You can imagine how much he ate, and how long it took to pump. So, we'll say about an hour to pump (a little less). Five days a week, two weeks in a paycheck, amounted to almost $80 off of a paycheck. As a single mother, that is a lot of money! So, I pumped as much as I could before work, and after that was gone, he got formula until I came home.

The fact that I breastfeed, however, does not embarrass me. I am giving Elliot his best start to life, what is there to be embarrassed about? It is a natural process. If people want to judge, fine, but they are the ones that should be embarrassed.

The Little Things Mean the Most

Everyone loves their kids for the obvious...it's their kid! Here are the little things that Elliot does that make him unique, and are reasons I love him.

1. He rolls his "r"s better than any Spanish speaking person. No really. He crawls around and all I hear is 'rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr'. I can't help but laugh. Sometimes we even communicate in rolled 'r's.

2. He crawls like a cat walks. Not on his knees like every normal baby, but on his feet, with his butt up in the air. How cute is that?

3. He knows when he is in trouble, and he knows how to work momma. He spilled my soda yesterday, and I said "Elliot, no!" in my mom voice (which isn't that great...yet). He just looked up at me, smiled, and splashed soda everywhere. Then I said "Elliot, that is not nice, let's get a towel and clean it up, and you're grounded (joking, of course)." He crawled over to me and laid his head on my leg, and gave me the cute face. I can't resist the cute face.

4. He randomly fills the air with what seems to be the highest, most piercing screech known to man. Seriously. He can be asleep, and then he screeches, and falls back asleep. It was creepy at first, but now it's hilarious.

5. When he thinks something is funny, he squints his eyes, smiles really big, and starts panting. Like a dog. It's hilarious. Especially when you are quietly reading him his bedtime story.

Where's Mom?

So, as you can all tell, I am on a little soapbox today. I absolutely LOATHE teen parents who cannot accept the responsibility of their actions. If you didn't want to take care of her, there are people who can't even have children who would love to adopt her.

Were you the last person to buy your child's diapers, clothes, formula, etc.? Not, did you go to the store and get it, but, did you spend your own money on it? If the answer is 'no', I am talking about you. (Now, if your parents/friends bought it as a gift, I am not talking about you).

How long has it been since you last left your child overnight? Elliot is 10 months old, and has never been a single night without me. I guess how long it has been is only half the question. WHY did you leave your child overnight. If the answer is concert, party, drinking, etc, you need to better your parenting skills.

Please. Try to straighten out your life for your child. Don't keep pushing it off, eventually it will be too late, and  your child will learn to resent you for it. Spend more time with her. READ to her, don't just turn on the TV and hope she is ok. Play games with her. Most importantly, tell her you love her...EVERY day. Have yelling matches, roll in the floor with her, kiss her, hug her, and tickle her. Your kid is a blessing, and you would rather party. Not only will she resent you for it, but eventually you will realize your error and resent yourself for it. And you can't take that back. Enough of all this mean/negative stuff. A happy blog is on its way!

Top Ten Mistakes Young Mothers Make

6. Expecting to get married to the child's father. It won't work out.

5. Expecting all of your 'friends' to be there. 90% of them leave you. That sounds scary, but you find more.

4. Not changing your lifestyle. If you are a mother and are spending many nights partying/without baby, you're doing it wrong.

3. Not working. You are a parent. You should have a job. Get one you lazy lump of poop.

2. Pushing babe off onto grandma. That is YOUR baby. If you want to spend every night partying, daytime with friends (without baby), you should have put it up for adoption. Do you think your mother wanted to financially support and take care of YOUR child? She's had her children, she probably didn't want any more.

1. Your child is not an accessory, nor a doll. Just because you dress your baby up pretty to go out does not mean you are a good parent. If you dress baby up and are cutesy ONLY in public, but at home you ignore him/her, or mistreat him/her, your child is no more than a new, shiny bracelet to you. Congrats.

Ah, "Teen Love"

In communications with other mothers, my age and younger, it is a common trend for 'baby daddy drama' and other like conversations to be the main topic. Here is the deal on that: Don't air your dirty laundry, especially on a social networking site! Do you really want the entire world to know every aspect of your relationship?

First things first. Typically whenever you get pregnant at a young age, the marriage/relationship is not going to work out. Getting married simply because you are pregnant is never a wise move. You should marry someone because you love them, not because you feel obligated to. I know everyone wants the whole family business, but if it is hurting you, him, and the babe, it's probably best to move on. That being said, I am sure that are rare instances of high school relationships working out, but it just is not as normal as you think, and remember you are never the exception.

Now, what causes relationship failures at young ages? Well, the most obvious one is that you both are too immature to handle a relationship, let alone a baby. You don't truly love each other, as I doubt either of you know what love really is. Then there is always the 'he is too lazy/doesn't work enough' excuse. Some words for you. Get. A. Job. Why should the man solely have to support you and your child? Do you not feel any responsibility yourself to help provide? Or does 'providing' mean dropping the kid off with grandma, while you go waste all of his money? No. Then there is that fact that there are 'better men, who are willing to do better things for me and baby". Also false. A man looks better until you have lived with him for awhile, and the same problems guy 1 had arise. Do you know why? Because YOU are part of the problem as well. There, I said it. It takes two to cause a relationship failure. Everyone has faults, and the sooner you realize that, the better.

Essentially what I am trying to say is a very long version of this:

Nobody wants to hear your baby daddy drama. It's immature, selfish, and anybody with common sense knows that you are not telling the entire story; you are omitting parts that make you look bad. The relationship failed because of both of you. Get a job. I am so sick of young mothers saying 'he doesn't work enough, because he doesn't care about our family.' Are you working or spending? I work full-time and I go to school. Elliot and I have our needs met. I don't go out partying, buy new clothes for myself every week, eat steak every night, and other similar things. I care enough about Elliot to keep my mouth shut about his father, when he is around. No child should have to hear that. I am not saying you can't argue, but for god's sake, don't do it in front of your child, in public, or on a social networking site. Yet another reason you need to grow up, and were too immature to have a child in the first place.

The Beginning of The Beginning

Well, where to start?

I suppose we should start where every story starts, the very beginning.

I found out I was pregnant with Elliot in late June (very late, as I was already nearly 7 weeks at this point). At first, I was greeted with overwhelming disappointment in myself. Being in college, after being very active in high school, graduated in the top of your class, and scored very high on the ACT, you can only be greeted with disappointment. It throws a huge wrench in your 'plans'. My mother and I have never been super close, so I texted her to tell her, and I can tell you, she wasn't too terribly happy. At this point, I had just started working at a nearby McDonald's, about a month before I found out. Everything just looks so scary, like a huge mess (I promise you, it all works out). My pregnancy with Elliot was very rough. I had the worst heartburn ever (he was bald), had morning (hah!) sickness the ENTIRE pregnancy, and now have the worst stretch marks imaginable. But it was worth it. I kept that feeling of disappointment until now, honestly, but when he started kicking and rolling, I was definitely in love, despite any disappointment. I had to be induced with Elliot, and 19 hours after induction, the most handsome little guy came into the world. Then we started our wonderful journey. Let me now insert how absolutely BLESSED I was with Elliot. In the hospital, he would only sleep if he was on my chest, and when we got home, he would have nothing to do with the bassinet. What's a mother going to do on the third night of no sleep? She is going to put Bubs in bed with her, and we still sleep together. Say what you want. Anybody that says co-sleeping causes SIDS is retarded. Suffocation and SIDS are two separate animals, and with my very light sleep pattern, we are ok. Less children die co-sleeping than in their own cribs, and MOST cases of a child suffocating are because the mother went to sleep under the influence of some drug or alcohol, which I would never do. I'll get off of my soapbox now, but that is a hot button issue for me, and everyone should be entitled to make their own decision in that area. He was the best behaved baby, and super patient with momma, as she had to learn, too. Elliot still only cries if he is hungry, needs something, etc. Elliot is breastfed, which I believe to be a wonderful bonding experience between momma and baby. Elliot has hit all of his milestones, most of them very early, except he never crawled on his knees, but on his feet. He has currently learned how to climb up the stairs, and up on the couches. And that should bring you up to speed on us!